Coming down from India....

Its amazing and wonderful all of the memories and thoughts that you have when you are traveling, but it is so hard at the same time because the people who weren't there with you in those moments will never even begin to know what you went through.  I am so thankful to have had Megan to share all of these experiences with and to be able to say how are you feeling about this or what do you think about that....  As im reflecting back on my time spent in India its so hard to even begin to wrap my mind around what happened and what I/we learned during our experience there.  When people ask how was India is so hard to say because if I say that it was wonderful and horrible at the same time noone gets it.  But when we were there and living our days there were multiple times a day that we would say either I hate India so much or I love India so much.  It is a place of so many drastic contrasts the people we meet would be so generous and giving and wanted to share with us and we also met some horrible people and they just wanted to cheat us and were so mean. for all of the beauty and the women in their colorful saris and bangles and wonderful things there is so much of the opposite, dirty and garbage everywhere all over the streets.  for all of the faith that people have and the amazing rituals and way they live their life and pray and believe so much and yet the government and the systems are so corrupt.  how does it work??  for all of the wisdom and knowledge and ancient beliefs  there are so many people who are uneducated.  its so sad.  i think that is why people love it so much though, for some reason.  it is so challenging and every day there is something new that comes up or something that you see that makes you think and tests you.  there were moments when we would just be walking down the street and i would almost burst into tears because i would be so sad seeing all of these people in horrible shape, women whos backs are so hunched over because of who knows what, people with deformed limbs who are scooting along on a skateboard or babies that look so hungry and i would just get so sad but than i would have to say to myself, brooke just pull yourself together, these people are so sad but they are not crying even though they may want to, they are just living and doing what they need to do.  so if you start crying it isint going to do anything or change anything.  but it would be so hard to see so many people living on the street and than talking to people and seeing how hard it is to get out of the slums or out of poverty and to get ahead a little bit.  our friend that we met in mumbai, rahul who sold maps, we had tea with him a few times and we were just talking to him and trying to think of business ideas and he was just explaining to us how hard it is because he cant even get a job at a resturant because he was never able to go to school because of his parents and so he dosent even know how to write or read and so he cant take orders at the resturant.  so it seems like even the simplest jobs he cant do because he has no education.  he was telling us he wants to become a shoe repair man but he needs to learn and get the supplys/tools but it was impossible because he cant pay because he has no money.  he lives in a slum outside of mumbai and takes the train in to sell the maps.  later when we were talking we pieced together that he was a male prostitute and there would be these rich foreigners, men, who he would take around and tour around the city and that they would invite him back to their rooms and they would pay him.  so we found out later that is how he makes his money and is able to live. its so sad! 

i think that many people go to india to learn yoga or meditation or the ancient knowledge but what ive learned is that what you think you may be looking for might not be what you need at that time and what you need is what you find along the way, on your way to the "goal".  i thought that i was ready to do a yoga training course and that was why i was going to india but maybe it just wasent time for me and that what i learned along the way and through the challenges and everything that we went through was a better teacher than any i would have at an ashram or something like that.  i learned so much about patience and just keeping a positive outlook and that your attitude and openness towards life will determine what your life is like.

ever since i went to kalani last year i have been practicing being in the moment and i think that traveling makes you be more present than ever because every moment there is something new and a new problem or something to deal with and so there is no time to think about the past or the future because the moment you are in is so important and you need to be fully there.  i think ive also learned to listen to my heart and follow what i feel is right rather than what i think is the right thing to do.  this goes from just daily things to big decisions also. 

i didnt have a return ticket to seattle, so instead i found myself buying a ticket to south africa to come and see someone that i met when i was in thailand.  we only knew each other for a few days but it just felt like we needed to see each other again.  instead of thinking this was a crazy idea and that it was bad i just decided to follow my heart and just go there and figure out the next step after that. i dont ever want to be someone who thinks later in life, i wonder if i would have gone to south africa, what would my life have been like?  dont ever let yourself have those what if's...... its a beautiful thing and im happy to be here.